Apr. 16th, 2001

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I had a revelation today.

I was reading Yahoo news, and I learned that, in the tradition of such literary greats as Jewel and Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake of 'N Sync is working on a novel. Not only that, but the publishing company reportedly gave him a seven-figure advance to write it.

Therefore, in order to write the Great American Novel, as I was destined to do, I do not have to continue my studies in creative writing. Hell, I don't even have to have a working command of the English language. I have to do one thing, and one thing only.

I have to become a teen pop star.

Jesus Christ, why didn't I realize this earlier? I mean, I'm already 18, for God's sake. That's elderly in teen pop star years. I better get cracking-- my reign at the top of the pop charts is almost over, and it hasn't even started yet.

That is all.

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Revolution nrrrd style now!

May 2010

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