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Feb. 22nd, 2003 09:35 pmOsesshin ended last night, and not a moment too soon. I spent the last half hour bouncing restlessly on my cushion, barely able to contain my restlessness to speak in public, to have free time, to bathe. The second zazen ended, Jazz and I rushed into the bath and covered ourselves in the blessed hot water. I washed myself at least twice.
In the bath, we met one of the monks-- a German woman whose name, I think, is Sōzui. We started talking about cross-cultural eating and cooking habits-- she had been surprised at how little we American students knew about cooking and marveled at the fact that so many American spend their meal times at restaurants rather than eating at home. Talking to her really challenged my conceptions of Zen Buddhism and the mind/body split. She said the practice of zazen, for her, brought her closer to her body, enabled her to sense the conditions of her organs, and to pay closer attention to what she does to her body, such that she now has a much better idea what she should eat and how to better take care of herself. Talking to her and other people have given me another perspective on the injunction against bathin during osesshin. It's not necessarily about ignoring your body; it can also be about knowing your body and bringing yourself closer to what you need to survive. I've learned a lot about basics over the past week-- I'm not a chef by any means, but I know my way around a kitchen much better than I once did. I've learned to be less picky about food, because it's context, and not the food itself, that makes something delicious or disgusting. I learn about my body by sitting. Bathing is like that, too. When I am not allowed to bathe for three days, I realize what a luxury it is, and I am more aware and thankful for the ability to take a bath. Maybe what it's about is not ignorance, but awareness.
I'm getting tired and babbly. I'll write more tomorrow.
In the bath, we met one of the monks-- a German woman whose name, I think, is Sōzui. We started talking about cross-cultural eating and cooking habits-- she had been surprised at how little we American students knew about cooking and marveled at the fact that so many American spend their meal times at restaurants rather than eating at home. Talking to her really challenged my conceptions of Zen Buddhism and the mind/body split. She said the practice of zazen, for her, brought her closer to her body, enabled her to sense the conditions of her organs, and to pay closer attention to what she does to her body, such that she now has a much better idea what she should eat and how to better take care of herself. Talking to her and other people have given me another perspective on the injunction against bathin during osesshin. It's not necessarily about ignoring your body; it can also be about knowing your body and bringing yourself closer to what you need to survive. I've learned a lot about basics over the past week-- I'm not a chef by any means, but I know my way around a kitchen much better than I once did. I've learned to be less picky about food, because it's context, and not the food itself, that makes something delicious or disgusting. I learn about my body by sitting. Bathing is like that, too. When I am not allowed to bathe for three days, I realize what a luxury it is, and I am more aware and thankful for the ability to take a bath. Maybe what it's about is not ignorance, but awareness.
I'm getting tired and babbly. I'll write more tomorrow.
